facebrag this

Yeah, wow.  That’s what I said, too.  Presumably this isn’t actually someone’s middle name.  But if it is, and stranger things have happened, then it’s not his/her fault.

If it’s not, however, then whoever you are…you’re a dick.  A little note: rarely do people who are actually destined for greatness know it, talk about it, or make it their middle name on their facebook profile. Greatness usually brings with it humility, a word you might consider exploring.

This isn’t so much a pure facebrag, but I like it anyway.  What Rachel’s friend had to say:

“Notorious perpetrator.  After a mutual friend sent me this link, she had to be exposed for her continuous and blatant facebragging.  I might add, this quote is most likely in reference to the fact she was ”let go” from work today.  Let’s just say she was riding out an eleven month episode of money squandering so her pearls on wisdom just go to show her completely skewed view on what work, effort, and success actually are.  She won’t be missed, even though she’ll probably be facebragging about it for the next year.”

Nothing personal, Rach…we just don’t like you.

I’ve never understood why some people go to such lengths to make sure everyone on the fucking planet knows it’s their birthday. I’m of the mind that the people who matter and care will know and say something.  Those who don’t probably don’t have a reason to. It’s this brand of crass, juvenile “look at me, it’s my birthday!” grandstanding that makes me (and 99% of your facebook friends) want to scream.  Drop it, now.

24 is such an inconsequential year, I can’t believe you’re wasting your friends’ time talking about it.  At 18, you can vote.  21 you can drink.  30, you’re old.  40, you’re really old.  50…well 50 is so far away I can’t even see the light from it so we’ll just skip that. You get the idea.

Desiree, sweetie, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK THAT YOU’RE TURNING 24 SO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!!  There, someone had to say it.  The fact you keep harping on it is tacky, uncouth, and annoying as hell.  You’re right about one thing though.  24 is just a number, as is zero.  That’s also the number of emails I want to get from people in the future about your annoying, braggy-ass, “see how great I am” status updates, got it?  Good.

That said, Happy Belated Birthday from facebragthis.com!

This guy doesn’t seem to be that obnoxious, though he is definitely facebragging.  That said, he’s not taking himself too seriously and clearly making a joke of it.  He gets a pass this time…but watch out, John!  We’ve got our spies on you.

Separately, please discuss the sadness of Jewel’s life amongst yourselves.  Taping Young and the Restless (I presume) cannot be a sign of much life, at least in the bedroom.  I could be wrong.

This just in from Kelly Ann:

“This is a fundraiser, FYI.

http://apps.facebook.com/causes/birthdays/114053

It’s not a birthday party with gifts for me, silly — it’s a fundraiser for PlayPumps, which is a fabulous charity.

Cheers,
KAC”

So, after some investigating, it seems this is actually for a good cause.  PlayPumps mission is to bring sustainable drinking water to people in sub-Saharan Africa.  Kelly Ann’s big heart doesn’t take away from her obnoxious, “let’s celebrate the birth of moi” status updates, but she’s not as facebraggy as originally thought.  For now, at least.