Sadly, the Summer of Drew must come to an end (unless someone sends me more of this douchebrag’s updates, quick!). The final episode is the name dropping edition, where we really get to see Drew’s true colors.
The status update itself is heinous enough. True to form, he opens with one thing (something about having weekends free ’til September, not surprising given he must pay people to be friends with him in the first place), then transitions into something else completely. In this case, he rattles off a bunch of celebrity names (minus Heidi Montag, she’s just a walking yeast infection), presumably because he’s going to be working with or at least near these ladies.
He also follows his own mould by ending on a note of folksy condescention, just enough to deflect from the brazen douchebraggery he just engaged in.
But the real kicker, the part that makes me want to hunt this guy down and take a wet shit right on his face, is his comment on his own post. ”I should be able to get them to fly me down for a comp suite with some free bottles,” literally made me sick. Not I’m going to throw up sick, but more like every time I read one of this fuckbag’s status updates a little piece of my soul withers and dies.
No, Drew, I can’t feel the smile on your fat, greasy face, but I can feel my fist getting globbed up in your doughy cheeks as I punch you square in the jaw. Only then would my grin be ear-to-ear.
Folks, everyone who knows this fucker should defriend him and disown him until further notice. You’d have to be as shallow as a kiddie pool not to choke on your own vomit when these little jewels come across your screen. And whoever Mols is, that stupid pantyliner of a friend should really just roll back over and go to sleep. I imagine Drew spoon feeds her every day at noon, hence her enthusiastic and incomprehensible support.
So Drew, fuck you. We hate you, all of us, even those who pretend to like you. Your parents hate you, too. You’ve yet to show you have one redeeming quality. You don’t even do “charity work.” As far as I’m concerned, eating and converting oxygen into carbon dioxide doesn’t count. Maybe one day you’ll get a clue that being respected and liked isn’t something you brag your way into. For now, I guess, just keep doing what you’re doing.
As evidenced by you constantly begging facebook friends to go with you places, it seems to be working just fine.
